My Mind vs My Heart (Part 2)

The only way to start solving a problem is being aware of the problem.

Two years after losing myself in a relationship again, I was finally waking up.

Slowly opening my eyes back to my reality…

It was painful at first. I didn’t want to face my reality,I just wanted to stay in my safety blankets.My safety blankets were giving me a lot of comfort. It ‘s like your alarm is going off but you don’t have any courage the leave your warm bed. I was right there my friend. But what if I stayed any longer? That option wasn’t even on the table. I was ready to face my fears. It was time to clear all of that fear juice has spilled to my heart, because that juice was poisonous for my precious heart.

When I started evaluating what has caused much fear in my heart, I questioned my childhood a lot, and one thing I could think off is how frequently I’ve lied to my peers.

At 13-14 years old, I found about lying. I became hooked to lying very quickly and didn’t quit for a long time.Lying was such an easy tool for me to ignore facing my peers and myself. I did that very frequently until about 21 years old. When It was the time to clean the my blocks, I wanted to teach myself how to stand in my own truth because of how much I desired the truth. I wanted to start practicing honesty more and more each day. I wanted to be honest to myself in every area of my life.

Because being honest to my self was the best gift I could give to myself at that moment.(to this day it still is.)

This time truth was the light. The light that would lead me to my unique journey and connect me back to my authentic self. If I wanted to be the most authentic version of myself, I had to stop lying to myself and to others.In the beginning of my journey, I was trying to be as accepting as possible with myself, because I didn’t want to scare myself away. Since, I was choosing to see the truth, I was trying to observe myself in every area of my life.

The first thing that got my attention was my eating habits. I was eating extremely big and unhealthy meals late nights.It was almost like I was hiding from my emotions with food.( a.k.a eating my emotions).

I decided to buy a scale. When the scale has arrived, I hopped on it with that fresh excitement of new purchase.When I saw the number on the scale, I wanted to scream. (It was almost the same feeling as taking a test and thinking you’ve done very well but you just found out that you have failed.). I didn’t believe it at first, I stepped down and back on it. I thought the scale was broken because this could’t be right! I stepped down again took all of my clothes and step back on it.

Nope, still the same weight. Now I had to fix both my honesty and my weight.

Being lost trying to decide what to do with my problems, I was walking at Barnes and Noble to find a cool reading, because I was done with the tv. While I was wondering around, this one book literally felt down from the shelve to my way. I looked at the book, and I was sold. This book was everything I needed at that time.( Still to this day , that book has always been an amazing guidance for me. I will make a blog post about the book soon.)

I started reading the book. It was giving me a lot of courage and self love I couldn’t find within me.This book clearly helped me to understand my blocks. With the help of this book, I was given a chance to look to life from a different perspective.

This new perspective was looking damn good on me. I was more positive towards myself. I wasn’t taking shit from anybody, literally no one.If somebody didn’t think I was cool enough they didn’t have to be around me. I was done living my life in that toxic circle with the people who didn’t think I was enough.

It was my time to decide If I was enough or not.

To be continued…

XOXO

The Millennial Hippie

PART1: The Cleanse for Heart

There is always going to be someone who has more than what you have in life, as there will be someone who has less. As humanity, we struggle to see the people who have less than us because we are often focused on the people who have more than what we have. We have become obsessed with other’s life and forget how beautiful ours is. Forgetting about the good things in our life didn’t affect us very well. Therefore, we became weak, fearful, and judgmental. Unfortunately, my friend we got disconnected which has led to uncured discomfort.

What if I told you there is a way out of discomfort? What if I told you practicing one thing daily could create significant changes in your life? Well, I know a trick that might help.

It is a word, an action, a way of thinking.

A cleanse your heart has been asking you for…

Gratitude… 

Gratitude is being thankful for what you have given in life and giving kindness to the world in return.

Gratitude is the comfort of knowing that you have access to clean water, food, and shelter. Millions don’t have access to basic needs.

Gratitude is appreciating your bed and your home knowing there might be someone doesn’t have access to a bed or a home.

Gratitude is treating people around you with respect because you are aware of how much they cherish you along the way.

Gratitude is the art of counting your blessing in your life.

Gratitude is seeing the silver lining in every story.

To be continued… 

The Millennial Hippie

Do you want to learn more about gratitude? Stay tuned by subscribing to my blog. I will keep adding to my gratitude series until then stay with love. ❤

My Mind vs My Heart (Part 1)

Shout out to every argument my mind and my heart faced to find the real me.” 

I’ve had my first real relationship when I was 17 years old. I met him through mutual friends in high school. I can assure you that he was a very attractive guy. He was on top of his classes, and he was leading the basketball team. Back then, this guy was everything I could ask for. At 17 years old I was feeling this guy. I often found myself dreaming about carrying his babies and having that picture-perfect life with him. I often thought about how powerful I would look and how glamorous my life would be with a man like him by my side.

The reason behind my need for a powerful man by my side to see myself powerful was my low self-esteem issues. I didn’t believe in me then, I believed that I was a failure. Therefore I must find a man to “save me” but I wouldn’t realize that until later in life, after being let down by men many times…

I was always the hardcore pleaser in my relationships with men. I was such a comforter that I would make sure my partner is happy before me. I mean that. I would let myself suffer to please someone else. I would let myself be upset, to make somebody else happy. Why I acted that way? Because I loved them very much? Haha, absolutely not! Mostly because the voice in my head which I didn’t have control over at the time kept whispering like “You are worthless, you are lucky that he is with you, just tag along with it” and I believed in that lie for a very long time.

Right after high school, I moved to America. I didn’t know any English back then. Being away from my parents, trying to figure out a whole new country was challenging. I had a lot of figuring it out to do. I was going through a lot of emotions. I became an emotional mess and that was affecting my low self-esteem very poorly.

Right at that time, I got involved with a partner because I was desperately searching for one. I couldn’t dream of anything else, but having a boyfriend. The 19 years old me believed that a man would solve all of the problems in my life.

Because I was desperate, I was ok with just anyone.I mean that.Well, this desperation led me to a serious relationship with a guy who I wasn’t a very good match with. This guy had some toxic behaviors. I believed him, and I choose to oversee all the red flags.No joke dude, I ignored all of them. I let him take control.

Soon after starting to date with him, I found myself in a negative pattern of events. I have gained a lot of weight, I was having a lot of issues with my family, and I was having issues with my university.I don’t even want to mention about my self-esteem problems. I was miserable. I was suffering a lot. I was scared to face all the feelings and all the responsibilities I had. I was being toxic first to myself and then to all the people in my life.Again, it is because I was lost. The voice in me kept telling me I was safe because I had a man by my side. What a petty.

Fast-forwarding to two years later, My heart was aching. My soul was torn apart. I wasn’t feeling good. I was growing up and my thoughts were changing. I had to get rid of this pain. I was slowly opening my eyes to my reality. I had enough escaping from my reality. It was time to be a big girl and face my problems. What if I trusted and believed in the girl in me instead of betraying her? Just a spark of that thought started to move me. Slowly but surely, the magic was covering me.

Now It was the time…

It was time to connect back with that precious girl in me, whom I betrayed and left in the dark for so long…

To be continued

The Millennial Hippie

The Modern Hippie

“In a world where you can be anything you want, who do you choose to be? I choose to be a Modern Hippie. “

Millennial Hippie

All these years hippies were introduced as dirty, lazy people with no money and no consistency but I believe there are more to hippies. These folks care for passion and happiness. They also care for a better environment, and World’s Peace. These causes are exactly what we care for or at least try to care for today!

So am I basically a hippie?

Yes, you are a hippie my friend but you are a modern hippie. A modern hippie wants better for humanity and the environment. A modern hippie has no wish but finding the joy on earth. As Eckhart Tolle would say “Finding the heaven on earth.” The mixology of the fast-growing technology and fighting the old belief, us hippies formed into a different shape. Unfortunately, we lost the connection to the hippie in us but now is the time to claim that sexy back!

Before we go any further; can you tell us more about modern hippie?

Of course! A modern hippie is not your ordinary 80’s hippie with bandana, sunglasses, and leather jacket anymore. A modern hippie is everywhere with its unique form of human body and feelings.

When it comes to personality and actions, modern hippie is a person who;

  • Lives up to his/her own truth no matter how challenging to do so.
  • Practices what he/she believes no matter what the conditions are.
  • Sees the lesson in failure.
  • Wants to create a better environment for the community.
  • He/She wakes up every day and practices his/her passion.
  • Appreciates the journey.
  • Is ready to get rid of the judgments, toxicity, and labels.
  • It is ready to heal and so she/he help others heal.
  • It is ready to glow and grow.
  • A messenger to deliver hope, love, and light to our environment.

Does this person sound like you? Even if it doesn’t sound like you, did you enjoy the person who was described above? If your answer is yes to any of these questions, I would like you to welcome you to the millennial hippie. Where we will talk about a lot of cool stuff.

Until then stay with love, hope, and confidence my friend!

The Millennial Hippie

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